ep. 005 • Comparison & Competition in the Henna Community

Click here to instantly download a PDF version of the transcript.

Chelsea Stevenson: Welcome to the Hennapreneur podcast. The exclusive podcast of its kind, dedicated to giving you an honest look at the reality of making a living as a henna professional. I'm your host, Chelsea Stevenson, professional henna artist and business strategist. I teach budding henna artists and seasoned henna pros alike how to build vibrant, profitable businesses doing what they love. I went from being the girl who could barely piece together a fluid design to being owner of the most celebrated henna boutique in my city. And with years of experience growing my own business and helping others to do the same, I'm here to spill all the tea on what it takes to be a bonafide hennapreneur. Our show starts in just under 60 seconds, but first, here's a quick shout out to my sponsors.

This episode is sponsored by The Design Lab. Are you ready to improve your henna designing skills and develop your very own signature style? You know, you know, like one that your clients will love and they'll choose you for every single time they need their henna fix? Yeah, you definitely want to be inside of The Lab.

The Hennapreneur Design Lab is a monthly subscription that provides you with curated design classes and follow along templates to build your henna skill set so you can work with clients more confidently, creating stunning designs that wow them every single time. Inside of The Design Lab artists just like you are working to build their henna application skills, boost their confidence with design composition, and give their clients a fresh new reason to visit them each and every month. Members of The Design Lab receive classes each month with in-depth lessons that show the techniques being taught both on flat surfaces and also showing real time client application. So you get to watch, listen and learn as you're walked through the designing process from start to finish, not just on a practice board, but also in a real setting, with a real person. Plus, when you join the design lab, you get two bonus classes as well, 'Foundations of Design', where you learn to master the essential building blocks of henna designing and 'Working with Clients 101', a class that's all about how to prepare for client work, the etiquettes of working with henna, and the must have gear that every henna artist needs. You can learn more about The Design Lab by visiting hennapreneur.com. All right, let's get to the show!

Hey hennapreneurs! You know, today I want to talk to you guys about something that's kind of just been, it's kind of been weighing on me and um, I feel like, let me just like, pause. Let me pause right here and say this episode is a little bit, it's a little bit, I am so hoping that it doesn't come off as preachy, but at the same time, like, I feel like we need to have some real, just honest, conversation about success, about comparison, and about staying in our own freaking lanes, okay?

So, like, I'm just going to pause, pause right here and say if those things turn you off, this might not be the episode for you, but you know, I promised you that in season two I'd be coming back and just really connecting with you and talking to you, filter free, about what it is to run a business as a henna professional, and what it is to have this lifestyle. I've been in business now for um, you know, since 2011. So I'm going into my ninth year of business and I have to be honest, there are things that I see, there are trends that I see and so many times I see them, I witness them, I turn my head the other way because, just the negativity that I see there, it's not something that I want to bring into my own, you know, my own circle, if you will. But I feel like it's a good time for, for me to just kind of open up and talk to you guys about something that I see a lot in our industry, and something that honestly, really, it upsets me. It upsets me. And um, because, it upsets me and I'll be, I'm gonna like say this too. It upsets me, but I've been there, and it upsets me because I've also been on the receiving end, and in both cases it wasn't a good experience. And so I feel like, I feel like we need to talk about it, okay?

So you guys ready? Okay. So I want to talk to you guys about this whole concept of like, "Who did it better?" or "How come, you know, how come that artist over there is so successful, and I'm not?" Like, "That artist over there is making money, and I'm not," "That artist over there is getting all of these Instagram likes, and I'm not," Uh, you know, "That artist over there is being acknowledged for X, Y, Z, whatever, and I'm not." And uh, I hear it, I see it and I'm gonna, I'm gonna even go so far as to say listen, even if you're not expressly saying the things in this way, please believe that when you gossip about another henna artist or another henna professional, when you take jabs at another henna professional, when you say things in that Facebook group or you say things and, like, people sense the shade, you know, like, envy isn't really a good color for anyone. And, and yet it's so common. And I struggle with this a lot because, you know, I really, I understand that, um, feelings of envy, feelings of jealousy, um, they're natural feelings, right? Like those are normal feelings. Um, and we can experience them for very real reasons. Um, and, and yet those are also feelings that unless harnessed and used to propel you towards doing something better, there are also very low feelings and useless. They get you nowhere, right? They do nothing for you. They provide no change.

And so I remember like, I remember—Oh my gosh—I remember way back when, way back when when I first went full time in my business, there was another artist who, um, I felt like, you know, I felt like, yeah, I was doing all of the work. Like, I was doing the marketing and I was really focused on like growing my brand and um, becoming more, you know, expanding my awareness, the awareness of my brand and my local area and bringing in new clients and so forth. It seemed like for her, things were going so easy. And I remember those feelings. So, like, this is definitely not a shade fest for those people who are in this place, um, right now. It's not a shade fest. I totally get it. I've been there, I know those feelings. It doesn't feel great. It's not fun to feel like you are in your business hustling, doing the things and you feel like someone else is not, or is doing the things poorly, ah, or you know, not doing them as well as you are from your perspective. And yet they're receiving all of this results in all of these rewards. Like, I get that those things feel gross and I totally understand. I totally understand. But, I have to tell you like there is nothing more wasteful of your time and your energy than to focus on someone else's wins and feel envy or feel frustration and then do nothing to forward your own business towards that success. And like honestly, I, I genuinely believe in like the law of attraction and so forth.

And so if all you're doing is putting out that negative energy where it's like, Oh well they have this, but I don't, you're just going to continue to receive- to reap that. Like, you're just going to continue to receive that back. You're going to continue to reap that, that sort of, um, of yield if you will. And I like, I genuinely believe that. And so if you find yourself in that place where you're looking at that artist, you know, in your community or you're looking at that artist on Instagram and you're like, well dang, you know, I should have had that contract or I should have had that event or that kind of would have been better off with me. And that's as far as you go, then like shame on you, shame on you. And I'm seeing this, like I see it in the community recently I was watching a, a conversation kind of unfold between two henna artist, and I saw that, like that sentiment kind of bubble up to the surface and while it wasn't said expressly, you can feel it right. And it just made me feel so sad for the artist who was expressing this distaste, because it's like, you know, but what are you doing to, what are you doing to further your own business? What are you doing to better yourself so that you become the ideal choice for that client versus the competitor? Yeah.

And I'll tell you, you know, particularly since being public about Hennapreneur, if you don't know, like I've been mentoring henna artists since like 2014. Um, and beyond that, honestly, I've been mentoring artists, answering questions, doing the things since, since before that, and I did so very quietly, um, you know, from my living room, or on video chat, or whatever. I've been doing this for a very long time and yet, um, you know, when I went public with Hennapreneur and I, you know, I opened the brand and made it official. I then started to also see people treat me in this way. Like, you know, “Oh, that's, you know, well she's doing this over there and duh, duh, dah, dah,” and like, that, like, negativity and, and it really- being on the receiving end, it's like, that also hurts. Like I also, and I received this in my local business, I can't even lie. Like, no, I can't even, I can't even be like, “Oh, it doesn't happen on the local level.” Even in my local business, I know that there are, you know, other artists in my community who are like, “Oh, you know…” and have things to say about me and have things to say about the way that I market my business or the way that I connect with my clients or the way that I present myself on social media or the way that I show up at events and, um, you know, the way that my business is successful and that also doesn't feel good, you know, so it doesn't feel good for either side. It doesn't feel good to be on the receiving end and it doesn't feel good to be that person who is thinking, “Woe is me! That, you know, that that artist over there is giving the clients that I'm not.”

So I wanted to talk to you guys about it because I feel like it's something that we kind of like, it's natural, like it's a natural emotion. And I think it's important to recognize that competition, um, and like that, that having the competitive nature can be healthy to a point, but it only is healthy if it is propelling you forward, if it's helping you to better yourself or better your business in one way or another. And so I feel like so often, and in our industry, there are these, um, you know, these thoughts, these feelings and these conversations that happened and they kind of happen in the shadows, right? Because let's be real, the professional henna community is quite small. We all know one another. We know what, you know, I know what the artist in- over there is doing and she knows what I'm doing over here and we don't even have, you know, we may have never even met face to face. Um, but it's just kind of the nature of, of our industry, and, and there's, you know, there's a blessing and there's a curse in that. But really, you know, these are things that are so common. And for us, I, you know, I want to see a change happen inside of our industry as, as how we, how we address those feelings when they come up. And I don't say that from like- I don't care, like, literally just to be completely honest. I don't care what anyone thinks about me. I don't care what anyone has to say about me, about my business, about my brand, about my- like I don't care, right? And I hope that you feel the same as well. Like. I hope that you don't care what people have to say about your business and your brand about, like, especially when it comes to your competitors, like whatever their opinion is, that's their opinion. Let them have it. They can keep it, they can- you know? And you are responsible for one thing and that's showing up as you, and that's serving your clients and that's, you know, giving your best every day. And that really is what I want to talk to you guys about today because in the, on both sides of the table, right?

Whether you're the person who's feeling a little bit, mmm, about that artist over there who may look like they're doing better than you, or if you're the artist who looks like they're doing better than so-and-so and is on the receiving end of like all the haterade on the face of the earth, the, the takeaway honestly is the same. You have to put your eyes back on your own paper. You have to put your eyes back on your own business. If all you're doing is focusing on 'what so-and-so thinks over there' or 'what so and so says over there' or 'how so-and-so perceives you over there', then that's all time that's wasted. Like, that's all energy that's wasted that you could be spending that time on figuring out how to better communicate how you're the best fit for your ideal client. Like, you could be spending that time planning your social media so that you're showing up every day. So that your audience knows that you're dedicated to, you know, the use of an actual henna and how you can serve them in a better way. I think that we, as creatives, right, as creatives, because we're artists, and you know, art is, there is, there's this air of, you know, uh, what is better even- really even look like what is, what does, what does good look like even, and so forth. And so when you add in the subjectivity of what makes a good artist and what makes a good, you know, whatever, then it makes, it allows space for there to be a lot more of that jealousy. It allows space for there be a lot more of that envy. And it allows space for us to be critical of others in ways that we're not entitled to be. And I'm, I'm honestly, I'm just kind of over it, just kind of over it.

So you know, I want to encourage you to, if like, if you're in that place where for whatever reason, like your eyes are fixated on that artist over there, I, I want to encourage you to like to turn your face the other way. Like literally just avert your eyes and I want you to bring yourself back to center and I want you to spend more time looking at you. And I see this and I'm like, again, this not like this is not me being preachy. I've definitely been there. I know the feelings, I know it's not great, but let me tell you what, if all you're doing is sitting in those feelings and wondering, you know, what can, what can I do to be like that person or why is that not, even, it's more just like, why is that person doing better than me? Then you're really not helping yourself in any way, shape or form. And so for you, like, I want to, I want to encourage you to, again, to just avert your eyes and look back at your business. Like, really take the time to look in the mirror and see how you can be a better iteration of yourself. See how you can show up better in your business. What can you do? Like, how can you improve your branding today? How can you improve your brand's voice today? How can you better connect with your ideal client today? How can you better execute a marketing plan today? How can you, you know what I mean? Like, how can you learn a new skill is going to help you to actually tangibly build your business today without freaking looking at the comp- at the competition. Because just looking over there does you nothing. You know, why not harness that same, um, that same disappointment if you will, that, "Oh, you know, I'm not getting X, Y, Z. I'm not doing X , Y, Z well enough." Okay, then harness that and use it to be productive for yourself. Use it to be productive for your business, right? Like, if your competitor is killing it at social media and your like, Instagram is weak, then why not instead of complaining, "Oh look, well…", and just tearing down that other artists and finding flaws within that other artists and critiquing that, you know, I can't even say ''critique'', just criticizing that other artist for the sake of what, when instead you could be taking a course. Instead, you could be reading a book. Instead, you could be listening to a podcast. Instead, you could be educating yourself on how to do those things better. Right?

I dunno you guys, like I feel, I, I'm sure that you can sense my frustration on this, on this issue because it's one that I'm, I'm seeing, I feel like there is this elephant in the room, in our industry where this happens so much and we don't talk about it and I'm willing to talk about it, you know, like I'm willing to say, yeah, I've been there and, just being there, it really sucks. And just feeling those things, it really sucks too. But if you can just change your mindset, if you can just change your focus, if you can just bring yourself back to center, you can use those feelings and you can harness them and they will propel you forward. But you have to be willing to do the work. And like for real, for real, that's another, like, being the person who knows on the opposite side of the table who's the one who, you know, I received this from other artists, I received this from other, you know, from other henna professionals. I, I kind of just have to shake my head because I'm like, you know, if you just did the work, you could have this too. Like, let us not fool ourselves. There are more hands out there available than there are qualified henna artists to adorn them.

So if you're not receiving those bookings, if you're not gaining clients, if you're seeing that you know, your revenue is not up to par, then that means that there's a disconnect for you. It doesn't mean that, you know, that that other person is taking your, your, your clients away. You know, I have to say, like, I am of the opinion that a high tide raises all ships, right? So, I mean, even just with, with the, with the opening of Hennapreneur, right? I'm choosing to share what I know, openly, filter free, right? I choose to share what I know because the more henna artists who are empowered to run successful businesses, the better the industry is as a whole. When I do well, my neighbors do well. When I charge more, my neighbors can charge more. When I'm taken seriously, my neighbors are taken more seriously. As we elevate our industry, as we elevate our profession on, uh, an artist by artist basis, right? This is like individual work. As we do those things, our industry as a whole sees growth.

And so, we have to get out of this mindset that like, there's not enough people to go around, that there's not enough clients to go around. It's just, it's simply not true. And we have to do a better job of knowing where the line is when it comes to what is healthy and what is unhealthy competition. We've got to do better. We have to understand that we are ultimately responsible for our own success. That's what it comes down to. If you want to run a successful business, then you have to be willing to put the work in and part of that work is not criticizing your competitor. Part of that work is not keeping yourself up at night to scroll through their Instafeed and complain or feel badly about yourself or you know, take jabs at the thing that they did wrong. That's, that's not, that is not part of a successful business plan, okay? But I'll tell you what is. If you're going to put your eyes there, if you just can't help yourself, then take a look, see what they're doing well, see what you can do better and implement it, stop cutting down other artists. Stop cutting down other professionals in our industry just because you feel like they've taken the opportunity from you. It doesn't exist. That's not how it works. There are more than enough clients to go around, but it's up to you as the business owner to go and get them, to go and find them and I'm going to be really honest. Most people won't do that work. They just won't.

There seems to be this like longstanding, false, false premise that if you can just become a good enough artist, if you can get your lines clean enough, if your bridal bumps can be perfect enough, if you're about, if your symmetry can be balanced enough, then like all of a sudden the doors will open and everyone's just going to be standing in a line saying, “Oh my gosh! I've seen your work before, will you do my henna?” And the truth is that's not how it works. Fact, I was making full time income as a henna artist long before my designs were what I would call cohesive, today. Why? Because I was willing to put the work in to build the business from the ground and that, that's not sexy work. That's not just getting to work with clients, that's working on marketing, that's understanding what a content strategy is. That's taking the time to go beyond just sitting and mixing henna and making tutorials on YouTube. It's just, that's not enough. You have to be willing to put the work in and if you're not willing to put the work in, then well, that competitor is always going to be ahead. They just will. Because if they're willing to show up and if they're willing to do the work, then they're going to reap those rewards.

I have a really unpopular opinion and I've shared it before and I'll share it again. You don't deserve success. You don't. Success is something that you have to earn and you earn it every single day. You own it every single day by showing up. You earn it every single day by getting uncomfortable. You earn it every single day. By doing the work. You earn it, you don't deserve it, and the sooner the henna community can bring itself to accept that, the sooner the henna community can bring itself to acknowledge that, the sooner the henna the community will thrive and that's what I want for you guys. That's what I want for our industry.

So I'm going to get down off of my soapbox now. I'm telling you, I really don't want this episode to come off preachy, but at the same time like this has been on my heart, and I'm like, it is, I just have to like let it out and just say the things because it is such a frustration for me, um, to witness some of what I witness, uh, and, and to hear some of what I hear and, and to realize like, man, if that's all you have to offer your business, it’s like: Whew! Prepare to sink. Prepare to sink. We have to do the work and we have to be willing to acknowledge healthy competition and we have to be willing to respect those people who are reaping the rewards of their hard work. And we have to be willing to put the hard work in ourselves if we want those same results or similar results or different results. It doesn't matter. You want success, you've got to go get it. You're not entitled to it. You have to show up and you have to earn it.

So I don't know, I'd love to hear from you guys. Look inside of the Hennapreneur Community. I- it would mean everything to hear from you what your thoughts are on this one. I feel like I might be shaking up, like I feel like it might be shaking up some, some, some, like, ruffling some feathers here and if that's the case that's okay. I'm totally okay with being controversial. It doesn't matter to me. I'll sleep tonight. But, I- I do, I'm really interested to hear: Have you- one, have you - look, let's see who will be honest - have you been that artist who has felt that jealousy towards a competitor? Um, be it a local competitor or someone who is maybe on social media, so forth, whatever. If you have, have you found the error in your ways and if you have, how did you get through that? How did you get through that? Because I think that right there, like in that there is some gold there, right? Like if you could share how you managed to get over that, that would be so incredible and it would help so many new artists who are in that headspace to get out of that headspace and the faster that they're out of that head space, the better- the better for the industry as a whole.

And on the flip side, if you've been on the receiving end, I'd love to hear how you coped with that as well because, I mean I know it is not, it is not fun when you know, yeah, you know that people are over there saying those things or thinking those things or whatever. And if you're like, I don't know, I'm an innocent party here. I'm just the bystander and I don't apply to either of those groups, then that's okay. I still want to hear from you. I'd love to know your thoughts. Have you witnessed this in the community and if you haven't witnessed it, great! Excellent. I mean that's, that's wonderful. I'd love to know your thoughts on how we can move past this. I'd love to know your thoughts on how we can do better as an industry, as an industry, to rise above this, like, just low, behavior. I dunno, that's what I got. I'd love to, I'd love to hear what you have to say on it. So go ahead. If you haven't already, you can visit the show notes and you can hop over to hennapreneur.com or just head to Facebook. If you head straight to Facebook, look up "Hennapreneur" and you can find our group. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this issue and, um, yeah, yeah, I will. I'm going to put the soapbox away for now. Okay. Just for now, just for now, but I can't promise I won't bring it back out again. Alright, I'll talk to you guys later.

Hey babe! I wanted to give you a quick thank you for tuning into the show today. That was super cool of you to hang with me all the way until the end. Of course, I've got all the links that you might need from this episode inside of the show notes that you can find at hennapreneur.com/podcast.

If you enjoyed the show and want to stay in the loop with Hennapreneur, be sure to subscribe to the podcast too. You'll get all of the new episodes as soon as they come out. I'd be so grateful if you'd take the time to rate or leave a review on Apple Podcasts while you're there. That tells iTunes that, "Hey! Hennapreneur is about something good!" and it helps us to reach more artists who would love the show. All right, that's all for today. I'll be back soon with another episode but for now, let's get back to work, hennapreneurs!