ep. 027 • How I Embody Resistance Through My Work as a Hennapreneur

Chelsea: Recently, a friend reached out to me with a quote credited to James Humes, which says, “Every time you speak, you’re auditioning for leadership.”

“It reminded me of you,” she said. “You’re leading in ways that you probably don’t even see yet, and I want you to know that I’m proud of you.”

Now, of course, that meant something to me, and it reminded me of an exchange I had with a woman at a festival, some years ago. I wanted to share that story with you guys today, because it really shares some insight around the work that I do, and why I do it.

Welcome to the Hennapreneur podcast – the exclusive podcast of its kind dedicated to giving you an honest look at the realities of making a living as a henna professional.

I'm your host, Chelsea Stevenson, a tea-loving, shoe-collecting mother of three in constant search for the most popping pair of earrings and the perfect shade of red lipstick.

I'm also a professional henna artist and business strategist who went from barely being able to piece together a fluid design to being the owner of the most celebrated henna boutique in my city.

I'm on a mission to help henna professionals, to harness their skills and grow vibrant, profitable businesses that they absolutely love.

If you want to make more money with your art, you are definitely in the right place. Let's get to it!

Hey, hey, hennapreneurs. So, today, I want to share a story with you about an exchange that I had with a woman while I was working at a festival some years back. This would have been around 2017 when I met this person, and she said something to me that really, it changed the way that I view my work.

It changed the way that I show up inside of my life and business, and it really, to this day, informs the decisions that I make. So I wanted to just talk to you guys about that. So, I remember, so this is the deal. I was working at this festival inside of my city, and I remember this woman walked by, and she approached my booth, but it was very clear to me that she wasn’t really interested in getting henna done. The conversation started as usual. She asked me what sort of services I offer, if I enjoy what I do, and if I had taken the time to market to a particular pocket of my local area. She was really kind and very encouraging. Every time I would respond to her, she was very supportive, and she was genuinely engaging with me over this short conversation. But I cannot forget how interesting it was to me, because it was very clear that she was not interested in getting henna done that day. Like, she was not interested in the henna itself. That is to say, she complimented my work, for sure. She complimented my work a number of times, and she definitely commented about how the arts are disappearing. She said that she loved what I was doing, but she just did not appear to want to have henna applied to her on that day, and that was something that kind of stood out to me. And so, we’re having this conversation where she’s like, kind of small talking me, feeling me out, but also not giving me any indication that she’s actually interested in purchasing my services at this festival, which is fine. I remember at the time, it was actually cold and rainy, and the rain had just lifted, people were just starting to come out, and she was one of the first few people that I actually spoke to that morning. And so her conversation was certainly welcome, but it was just, like, I didn’t know what to think of it, I wasn’t sure what to read of it. And so we’re having this chat, and after a few moments, she asked me how long I’d been doing henna. At that point in time, I explained to her that I’d been at it for seven years, and that I’d started working as a full-time henna artist a couple of years prior to that.

If you guys are not familiar with my story, I went full time in 2014. This being 2017, I would have been full time for three years. And the expression on her face, like, when I said this to her, totally changed. She was beaming! And this is for context, so that you guys can get a visual here. This is this petite woman, gray-white hair, wearing glasses. Very, like, short hair. I almost don’t want to say edgy, I didn’t read her as being edgy, but definitely unorthodox. I felt like there was this unorthodox kind of air about her. But she was definitely a straight shooter. She was someone who I could imagine being in a boardroom and being like, ‘no, that’s just stupid!’ [laughter] I just imagined her being very direct. She was very direct with me, which I appreciated. But for context, this is someone who, I read her, as sizing me up. I did not expect for her to be complimentary in the way that she was, right?

And so to see her beaming, and for her to tell me how proud she was of me, really meant something to me. This is someone who was a total stranger, but she was genuine, and I could really feel that. When she said it to me, her eyes softened, the tone in her voice changed, just the way that her face lit up, it was very clear to me that she meant what she was saying. She went on to describe to me how female entrepreneurs are necessary for the growth of our communities, and that of our nation as a whole. She pointed out how women like me: women who are making our own money, taking big risks for the benefit of our families, going against the grain, quote-unquote, are exactly what America needs.

And she noted that my children—because my children were there with me in the booth. If you’ve never heard me talk about it, I’ve always had my kids with me when I would work festivals. When I first started my business, I was a single parent, so when I would work festivals, my son was there. He was a toddler, he was there with me. And even up until this instance, this experience that I had with her, I just had my third baby. My youngest was born in 2016, in October 2016, so she was only a few months old. So I, as an exclusively breastfeeding mom, always had my kids with me. And even if I was working at a festival, I had arrangements inside of my booth for my kids to be there. She noticed that my kids were with me in the booth, and she made mention of how happy it made her to feel, to see that they were included. And she commented on how ‘more people need to see this.’ She praised my work, she praised my family, my dedication, and then she went on about her way, and I never saw her again, and I thought about her for a while.

What was interesting to me is that in that exchange, she mentioned how, specifically, how ‘more people needed to see things like this in times like these.’ And to remind you, to set the stage, this was right after [laughter] we had, we’re dealing with the Trump election and all of that as well, is happening, or had just passed, I should say. For the community, there was definitely this air of—there’s an air of—obviously, there’s racism happening at all points in time. There’s xenophobia happening at all points in time, there’s a whole lot of sexism that’s happening at all points of time. But in that time, this would have been April 2017 that this festival occurred, that’s right after the elections. And so there’s a whole lot of strong, heavy energy happening, and it was just really interesting what she said. As I was reflecting back on the things that she said and the way that she said them, because she definitely was making an implication, and she was trying to do so in a way that was gentle, and that was acknowledging of my experience as a black, Muslim woman owning a business, having my children with me. All of this as an artist, all of the things she was trying to acknowledge, and do so in a way that was sensitive, and I could appreciate that. I received that, I understood that, and it meant something to me.

So the things that she said to me really stuck with me. Because, while henna, for me of course, has been an act of liberation, both from liberating myself from the corporate race and from other societal norms which I’ll talk to you guys a little bit about today, it really was something to hear someone else speak those words aloud. Those were feelings that I had inside, and it was something that I was aware of, intuitively, but I’d never had a stranger acknowledge what I was doing, in the way that she acknowledged what I was doing. It sparked something for me! I began working as a henna artist when my son was just a little bit over a year old. I moved into working full time when he reached the age to start kindergarten. Which, around that time, was also the same time my husband I realized that we were expecting my middle daughter. So I didn’t look back, I went full time in my work with my business, because it was the obvious next choice for our family.

We had just moved cross country from Nebraska to Texas, and we had these small kids and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving them with just anyone. I really felt strongly about homeschooling my son, also. I never thought of henna as an act of quote-unquote resistance, or sticking it to the patriarchy, or anything like that. For me, I made those decisions because they were practical. I made those decisions because that’s what made the most sense for my life, for the life that I was wanting to build. Not necessarily through the lens of, ‘oh I want to do it because…’ My heart was in that place, but logically, I wasn’t putting those dots together yet, in terms of what resistance looks like. But even with that said, it doesn’t change that it is resistance.

That’s what I want to talk to you guys about today, how this informs my experience as a hennapreneur. It is very much informed by this feeling of resistance, this feeling of defiance against what would be expected of me, otherwise. Through my work, I get the unique opportunity to teach my children that they have the right—and the capacity—not just the right, but they have the ability and the capacity to be, or to do, anything that they want. I curate that, I teach them patience as they’re waiting for me to finish with my clients at the henna boutique, and I teach them presence when it’s time for us to play or paint, or cuddle together. I show my children, and especially my daughters, that they can be confident and they can be successful, and they don’t have to be small. They don’t have to minimize themselves, they don’t have to hide. They can be the amazing people that they are, and the world deserves to see that from them!

Henna, for me, affords me the opportunity to not only—as I mentioned, I’m a homeschooler—teach them by example of what they’re capable of doing, it also gives me the opportunity to educate them about the everyday, practical things. I get to teach them addition and I get to teach them about the rain cycle, and I get to teach them why black lives matter. I get the choice. I get to stay in bed with them when they’re feeling sad or worrying about something, and I don’t have to call in to a supervisor to give me time off. I get to take them to visit with family or with friends without having to ask permission for vacation days. I can teach my daughters they’re beautiful without worrying that someone at preschool is going to say something to them while they’re there (or daughter, to her, while she’s there), right? I get to encourage and include and nurture them in a world that would otherwise happily ‘other’ them, exclude them and treat them as less than. And that is an act of resistance.

My work with henna is such that it allows for me to also resist in the economic perspective. If you’re new to Hennapreneur, [laughter], I like to talk about money! I’m not shy about the fact that I like money. I’m happy to make money, and I want to help other henna artists make more money, too. But you can’t avoid this part of the conversation. In 2020, for example, the average employed American woman made 82 cents for every dollar made by a man. That’s near 20 percent decrease in wage, just on the basis of sex. Not okay! Not okay! If you take that a step further, one recent report that was published by national partnership dot org, shows that black women are paid at just 63 cents for every dollar made by white men. Native American women? 60 cents. Indigenous women? 60 cents, dude. Latinas? If you’re Latina, I’ve got bad news for you! The average was 55 cents for every dollar that a white male made, if you’re working in the workplace. Asian women are the outliers.

Based on the report that I read, they make around 87 cents on the dollar, and it’s still trash! Yeah, that’s still totally unacceptable! It’s still totally unacceptable. And for me, let me just pause, and I’m just going to leave this thought with you: these are numbers that are referring to women who are employed by a company, right? That are in the corporate world, that are employed by another entity. These are not the numbers around women who have their own businesses. We will talk about that in another episode, because I think that it’s important for henna artists to have that context. When you’re considering opening a business, you need to know what you’re up against. And honestly, those numbers are not there, they’re pretty freaking depressing. These numbers right here, this is how the world values women. Specifically how America values women in the workplace, and it’s totally unacceptable to me!

So for me, business ownership allows me the opportunity to create an environment where I can make what I want. I can set revenue goals on my own terms, and I can tackle them on my own terms. Am I still gonna face challenges born from systemic and institutionalized racism? Yeah, absolutely, I don’t get to avoid those just because I’m a business owner. But I’m not bending myself to the will of, like, freaking Mark and HR, who decides what my rate of pay is! That’s not a thing, and I’m really proud about that. Economic resistance, to me, is incredibly important because if you don’t have the financial backing, you have no power. We live in a capitalist society, period. If you don’t have the money, you don’t have the power, so I find that it’s one of the strongest, and perhaps most important ways that we can exercise resistance—is by having profitable businesses, period. And then finally, there’s this cultural component, because our collective culture is one that consistently tells women that they’re not enough, right? We’re not smart enough, we’re not pretty enough, we’re not strong enough, we’re not wise enough, we’re not wealthy enough, we’re not experienced enough. You name it, we’re not enough of it, and what’s born from that rhetoric? Generations of women who undervalue themselves because they’re afraid to demand more. That’s what born from that. You know what you find from there? Generations of women who lead miserable lives because they’re afraid that they’re undeserving of anything better. ‘If I leave this, then I’m never going to have anything better. I’m never going to have anything as good. I’m never going to…’

Do you know what else comes from there? Generations of women who are fucking exhausted because they don’t have the opportunity, or they don’t believe that they can take a break for fear of falling behind. I think that it’s all trash! Like ALL of it is trash! If this is the societal norm that I have to experience, then hell yes, I’m going to resist it! And if this is the cultural average or the status quo that I’m raising my daughters in, then yes, I’m going to resist it. I will resist that in every single place that I find it, whether that’s by working for myself, choosing to homeschool my children, teaching my babies to be proud of their brown skin and their curly hair. Taking more naps, raising my rates ‘cause I fucking feel like it, or teaching hennapreneurs around the world how to do any number of those things, too! Whatever ways I can, I’m gonna do it, because that sort of resistance is important.

I choose to resist the norm. My experience as a hennapreneur is one that allows me that opportunity. I choose to resist the average. I choose to resist the idea of settling. I choose to resist the thought that life has to be compartmentalized. I don’t have to operate like a man! I don’t have to do things the way that Mark in HR would do them. I don’t have to, I get to make the rules! By empowering myself with that knowing, and with that permission, I have created an environment inside of my business that allows for me to approach situations with much more confidence because I know that I’m not only playing the game by my own rules, but if I need to change something up, I will! I’m the end all, be all.

For some, that might be a little bit scary. Also, please do understand that it is incredibly empowering to know that you get to make the rules, right? If things don’t go according to plan, you get to change that. You can move it, you haven’t signed your name in blood anywhere. You can make adjustments, you can pivot. And for me, I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful for that sort of realization. I’m so grateful, honestly, I’m so grateful for that woman, for having given me that food for thought, for having said the kind words that she said to me, because it was her saying them. It was her vocalizing those things to me, and me having the ability to hear it back from someone else. That really pushed me toward not just being more intentional around that, but pushed me to also expand into the next level of things for me.

From that time, can I tell you? So that took place, again, that conversation that I had with her happened in April 2017. After having that conversation and really leaning into my motivation behind why I choose to do this work, why I wanted to do henna, why I want to serve my community, why I, all of those things. It was April 2017 that I had this conversation with her. June of 2017 was when Hennapreneur was born, officially. Not only that, August of 2017 was the year that, or excuse me, was the month that my business was featured as being the best in my city. So literally from her speaking those words to me, affirming what was known to me inside, but really not placed at the forefront of my mind, her speaking those words to me sparked something inside of me that changed the trajectory of my life. And there are two specific instances that I credit massive changes inside of my life and business.

The first was the young woman at the grocery store who asked me about my henna, and that’s how I started my henna business. And the second was this conversation. When I had this conversation with this woman, the words that she said, the look on her face, the way that she affirmed me, changed the way that I viewed myself. And it changed the way that I viewed what I was doing and what I was building. After having that conversation with her in the spring, I had the best years that I’d had in my business! And after having that conversation with her in the spring, I had the unique opportunity of leaning in and saying no, you know what? I’m going all the way in. I’m not going to do this by myself, I’m bringing my professional community along with me, and that’s when Hennapreneur was officially born.

So, with that, the likelihood of her ever hearing this podcast is slim to none, I’m sure. If by chance she were to hear this, I would love for her to know that I am incredibly and eternally grateful to her for the words that she said, and for the way that she looked at me, and for the way that she acknowledged my hustle and my drive, and my kids, and my booth, [laughter], and how she said these things to me with such kindness and such grace, and I could never repay her. And I’m going to say this, not just me! If I can never repay her for the impact that she made on my life, then those people who I’m impacting, they can never repay her for the impact that’s been made on their lives by just that little effect of her saying the words that she did to me that day. So I’m just incredibly grateful, and I want to acknowledge that and share that with you guys here so you also have a little bit of insight on what it took to get me to where I am now. I had to really connect with my ‘why,’ I had to really connect with what I wanted to build for myself and my life and my business, and resistance was part of that.

And with that, I’m going to wrap up here. I’ve gotten really excited. You guys, look, this is the first time I’ve dropped an F bomb on the podcast! [laughter] You guys, I’m sure that there are a handful of y’all like, ‘oh wow, she’s just lit!’ I got a little bit excited, but [laughter], I’ll get off of here.

I did want to share that quick story with you. If you’re listening and this resonated with you, I just want to let you know that, you know what? I see you, and I support you! And to each of you who is building your henna business because you want to leave the world a better place than you found it? Listen, that’s what we’re here for, so you keep resisting! I’ll talk to you guys next time.

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