ep. 038 • Storytime: She Said I Sold Out My Art, I Say I Honored My Goals

Chelsea: One of the hardest and most hurtful, honestly, lessons that I've learned, in my henna journey is - sometimes you can't take people with you. There are going to be times when you will outgrow people and places and spaces.

And in today's episode, I'm sharing a story about how that showed up for me as I made the transition into a full-time artist with henna boutique, and interestingly enough, this had nothing to do with the boutique at all. It actually came up in a festival setting of all places, but it was one of the moments that really defined for me that if I was going to grow, I had to be willing to do so even if I didn't receive the support and validation of people who I thought would be in my corner.

 If this resonates with you at all, you're really going to enjoy this episode. 

Welcome to the Hennapreneur podcast – the exclusive podcast of its kind dedicated to giving you an honest look at the realities of making a living as a henna professional.

I'm your host, Chelsea Stevenson, a tea-loving, shoe-collecting mother of three in constant search for the most popping pair of earrings and the perfect shade of red lipstick.

I'm also a professional henna artist and business strategist who went from barely being able to piece together a fluid design to being the owner of the most celebrated henna boutique in my city.

I'm on a mission to help henna professionals, to harness their skills and grow vibrant, profitable businesses that they absolutely love.

If you want to make more money with your art, you are definitely in the right place. Let's get to it!

Hey, hey, hennapreneurs! Welcome back to another episode of the Hennapreneur podcast today. I am wanting to share a little story time with you. Is that okay? Can we do story time today?

 I want to talk to you about one of the kind of landmark experiences that I had inside of my business, and it was a marker for me in many different ways when it actually happened.

I remember this was-. It happened actually early on in Hennapreneur's inception, but, for me, I'd been in business for about seven years when this took place. And, it was-. Really, it shook me and it stuck with me. And as I look back over the past 10 years of business, this was one of the instances, it was one of the experiences that I had that really changed the way that I looked at myself and looked at my business. And so I want to share with you guys about it, because, yeah, it's, a little bit vulnerable. Hopefully... Hopefully I don't cry because I have a tendency to do that when I go back to this place, but this is something that I experienced.

So at first, if you'll get into my time machine for a second, I want to take you back to my very first festival, okay?

So when I started working with henna, I started in rural Nebraska. I was in scottsbluff, Nebraska, which if anyone knows anything about Nebraska, you know it is in the panhandle of the Nebraska state and it's literally, like, it's this tiny town. Like, cows, corn, and, you know, like the tiny towns that you see in movies of the Midwest where it's like everyone... you know, you drive down this one main street and everyone's, like, parked at an angle and it's just like that, okay? So it gives you an idea of where I was when I first started working with henna.

 I was not working in a community that was used to henna. I was not working in a place where they knew what henna was. When I started offering henna services, that was for many people the first time that they'd seen henna, ever, or the first time that they'd seen henna in person. And so it was a really interesting dynamic.

And when I first started my business, I started out doing, like, small private appointments and I remember, I heard that there was this festival that happened every year in Scottsbluff and it's called OT Days. So if you're a hennapreneur in the Midwest, you probably have a version of this. OT being Oregon Trail. So, Scottsbluff was one of the stops on the Oregon trail, so-.

Okay, I'm not going to bore you guys with, like, American history, but OT Days is, like, the big festival that would take place in Scottsbluff. And so I did, I heard about this and I thought, okay, I'm going to give henna a first go at the festival and we'll see what happens, right? We'll see what-. We'll see if it works.

And so I remember going to this first festival and to give you some context, I had been working with henna for less than a year at that point in time. So I'm going to work at this festival. First of all, I didn't know what to expect. I'd never worked at festival before. I'd never attended this festival before. What I knew is that it had been around for like, years and years. And so it was, I knew that it was something that the community looked forward to hosting and having. And I knew that there was going to be a turnout, but I didn't have any way to gauge if they were going to be interested in henna. And I certainly didn't know what it would take to, like, effectively have a henna booth set up because I'd never done it before, and I'd never even seen one before. So I really was going off of this, like, blank slate sort of thing. And not only that, but in my business at that point in time, things were still very green, right? They were still very new and so I didn't have-. I didn't have booth set up. I didn't have gear. I had, literally, my, you know, my cooler bag with henna. And that was it. I was working from my living room, so I didn't have a need to have the things that you have when you're working in festivals.

And so, I remember booking the festival and I couldn't even tell you what the due was. I want to say-. Ahh, I don't. I want to say it was like $175 or something like that. And the reason why I mentioned that, is this was a significant investment for me. I had-. I'd never done a festival before and I never had made, at that point, I had not made a real heavy investment in my business. At that point, what I had invested in was a really pretty chair for my clients when they came to my home to get, you know, to receive their henna services. I had this really pretty chair and that, you know, I'm going to say, it cost me like $80 or something, which for me at the time was a really big investment because I was a single parent, right?

I was a single parent. It was just me and my kid. He was like 15-18 months old. 15 months old, I want to say. And so, like, he was really young. He was little and I didn't have a working budget. Like, I had literally just up and moved from Virginia from the east coast all the way to Nebraska and then lost my job. Like, I didn't have savings. I didn't have a bunch of resources. And so, like many of you, when I started my henna business, I was bootstrapping it and I was making do with what I had. And so, I give you all that context because I want you to really have a clear understanding of what this looked like for me when I first started.

And, so I, you know, hear about this festival. I pay the dues. I'm freaking terrified because what if people don't like henna? What if they think that it's weird or they think that it's, like, I don't know. Like, they're- culturally, there's a whole lot of stuff going on in the Midwest that I don't even have time or the interest to get into here, but I had some concerns about whether people would be receptive to henna at all.   And at the same time, I was like, I'm willing to risk it because if it goes,well then I'll make back my 175 or whatever. Like, this will be worth it.

And so I remember going to the store because I didn't have a pop-up tent. And I didn't, honestly, I hadn't even thought about a pop-up tent until someone asked me. They said, you know, "You'll have a 10x10 space. Are you going to have a tent or whatever?" And I was like, "Oh." Like, oh, I need a tent, right? I didn't think about the fact that I'd be outside in the sun all day. Like, these are the things. I really was just learning as I went.

And so, I remember going to the store and this, I remember a hundred percent. I bought this tent that I found on sale. There was one left and it happened to be on clearance. It was seventy-five bucks. I bought the tent and I was like, my stomach was turning. I'm like, I don't have any more money. I've already paid a booth fee, now I'm buying a tent; where am I even going to put it in my tiny apartment? Like, what is this going to look like? Like, literally my thought was, I'm going to take this tent. I'm going to use it. And then I'm going to return it after the festival. Like, literally that was my thought process because I just knew that I needed it, but I didn't know that I was going to have, you know, I didn't know that I would actually make back my investment.

And so, I did not have a table. I did not have chairs. I borrowed them. So I, you know, I borrowed them from my mom. Actually, her employer had a training center and so they had, like ,six-foot tables and chairs that they used when they were training their employees. And so I asked like, can I borrow one of the tables and chairs? So I borrowed a table, two metal chairs. Wasn't dressed. Like, undressed tables. I like, literally, when I tell y'all I put it together on a whim, I'm telling you, it was. Everything was as free as possible, you hear me? So even down to how I-. 'Cause I was like, I knew that I was going to need a system. If people wanted to get henna, they needed to have some sort of idea of what they were getting and so I went to the dollar store and got a poster board, you know, like the poster boards that kids use to make like, you know, to do their science fair projects or whatever? And friends, I'm not talking about the cardboard one – the threefold that stands up – like, the nice ones. No, I'm talking about the flimsy big old poster board, okay?

And so, I got one of them and I got some Sharpies. It was a black post-. I'll never forget this. It was a black poster board and I got some metallic Sharpies 'cause I was like, ooh, that way, you know, you can see it and it'll look nice. 'Cause the top of my tent was black. So I was like, I'll just go with like a sleek black, whatever, look. Whatever. And so, I've got this black, top on my tent. I've got this black poster board and I use silver and gold and bronze metallic Sharpie markers to create what was essentially a build your own design system.

So what that looked like was it said "henna", okay? Very, very, like, wow! Okay. So it said "henna" and it said, "step one, step two, step three."  Step one: choose your design. Step two: choose your location. Step three: choose your budget. That's it.

So on this poster board, using the different color Sharpies on each corner – 'cause there's obviously the four corners –  on each corner, I drew different little, like, doodles.

So I have a flower over here. I had, like, something geometric over there. I have a paisley over here and I couldn't even tell you what I had- I think I had, like, a mandala as the fourth one. So on each of the corners, I have these different styles.

And so they had to pick which style they wanted. Then they would tell me where on the body they wanted it. If they wanted it on a hand or a foot or a shoulder or whatever. And then they would tell me their budget. And their budget, you know, I said, I will do anything from $15 or more. And so they can pick their budget and I would create something within that budgeted range.

And y'all, I was so new to this. I couldn't have-. I couldn't tell you what a $15 design was. Literally. I was just like, okay, for 15 I'll do something simple. Like, and I didn't-. I was still learning. I was still very much learning. This was-. When I say this was an imperfect system, it was so imperfect, but I did the best with what I had, and I did the best with what I knew, and I did the best that I possibly could.

And let me tell you that day changed my life and the way that I viewed my business, because I remember working that Saturday at that festival and clearing what I would have made for two weeks of work at my job as a social worker. And so, this is me using a very imperfect system and still getting results. I made it simple. I made it streamlined. I made it clean. I made it easy for my customers to understand they loved it. I loved it. And I went home at the end of the night, you know, having cleared my four-figures worth of revenue. And that was the first time that it, first of all, that was the first time I'd ever seen that much money in cash in my hands that was mine. And that blew my mind. It changed the way that I perceived what was possible for me forward.

But all this to say, that's where I started, okay? So I give you that context with-. I want you to understand that when I say that I started at the bottom, I mean that. I feel that. And so I have a heart for hennapreneurs who are still out there, starting from scratch, putting their stuff together. Like, I know that struggle.

If that's you right now, please understand – where I'm at today? You can be here, okay? 'Cause that's where I started too. So I'll leave you with that. Like, I'll just toss that out there for you.

But over the years, I gradually updated my booth, right? I gradually updated and made changes and whatever. I went full-time in 2014. Honestly, in 2014-. If you saw pictures of my booth in 2014, it still looks, eehhh, kind of sketch.

And all the way up through like 2017-2018, I felt like my booth was starting to come together. I started to get more cohesive and its presentation, but when I look back at it, yeah, I did the best that I could with what I had.

So, over the years I went, you know, I would collect saris or I would collect fabrics or I would collect other tapestries and things and try to make things at least match and whatnot.

And around 2017 I had-. My booth was like this black, white, and deep red color...  like a maroon and I had gold accents. So what I would do is, I have these black and white, like, tapestries that were hanging and whatever, and I had my black tablecloths and it just, it was what it was. And that was the setup that I had when I entered this particular event.

So I joined as a vendor and this is, this is a massive music festival. Actually, it is the largest free art and music festival in the US. It's one of the festivals that I service and I started it around then.

And so, when I came in, my, my booth looked like that, which was a major improvement from when I first started, but it also was, like, still very much on the up and up, right? And there were things that I could have, like, there were tears on my tapestries, or there were things that like, I, I... did I feel proud of what I had? Yes. Sure, because I knew that I had worked hard to get that- get there. And also, I felt like there was space for me to grow.

And so, in 2019, I opened my brick and mortar. That's when I opened the henna boutique. And I decided at that point, if I'm going to have a brick and mortar, I need to double down on the positioning of my brand. My brand can not be positioned as, being like this, like, hanky pank, like, put together, like, mod podge of stuff. Like, that's not going to cut it. Not for my audience. Not for the message that I want to send, um, the way that I want to position my brand. Like, that's not going to- that's not gonna fly.

And so, now I had this also very new and very real investment and expense, which was: now I have a brick and mortar that I have to pay for. So I needed to be incredibly clear and incredibly streamlined and I needed to show up as the best version of myself inside of my business, in every avenue, to include when I was working festivals.

So this new, like, motivation that I had to grow my business in this new way, or to, you know, to better refine and finesse the aesthetic around it and all of that, it moved me to make some new decisions. And so as I was entering festival season after having opened my brick and mortar, I decided that I was going to redesign my entire booth set up.

So I bought new linens. I brought, you know, new dressing for the tables. I bought new chairs and setups. I bought new banners. I bought new signage. I bought, like, a new feather banner, all of these things- all of those things were replaced and renewed to match my brand's aesthetic.

If you, uh, well, the majority of you are not local to me. If you were to see me out, if you were to see me out at a festival, my color scheme is like this bright pink color, and that same bright pink color is an accent color that I use at the henna boutique, which is primarily blue and peach. So, even on the back-end side of my website, and this is to give you, like, some real behind the scenes of what it takes to run a business the way that I do. Even on the backside of my website, depending on where someone meets me, if they meet me at an individual appointment, or if they meet me at a private party or a private event, they are, displayed one version of the website. Whereas, if they meet me at a festival, they're displayed another version of the website and that, ties to the pink color.

So I can tell where someone saw me based on some of those things that I have going on in the back end. So it's just very, this is, and this comes down to other strategy. This is, there's a marketing strategy behind all of that, which we don't have time or space to get into today, but I share that with you to say, all of the things that I put together were done very, very intentionally, okay?

And so, I redesign all of these things around my booth and my setup and whatnot. And I go back to work this event. Then, at that point, I had been working for three years  and I had an issue. In fact, I had a massive issue, and the issue wasn't me –  the issue was the organizer.

So, the person who was responsible for the block where my booth was located had some concerns. She had some very specific complaints, actually, about me and my booth. She complained that I had lost the handmaid and artistic feel. She complained that I no longer was the quote/unquote "henna home girl", and that I looked and acted more like a corporate mogul. She said that, basically, basically what I heard, the takeaway – in no uncertain terms – the takeaway was that I was a sellout for my art. Like, I was a sellout, and that I no longer fit in.

And as I-. And she-. I remember her coming over. She came over to my booth and she said, "Just look at your booth! Just look at it! Just look at it!" And I was like, wh-. Like, what? Like, what is she trying to poi-? What is she trying to point out? Because, at this point, you know, I'd redone all of my things. I now have, like, this white top, all of my signs, beautifully designed. Bright pink, bright yellow, bright teal colors. Very, very bright. Very vibrant. Very inviting.

I constantly receive feedback from guests at my festival booth saying how inviting and how comfortable it is and how it feels for them to be there, which is exactly I look for, right? Like, we want our clients to have a great experience whether they're meeting us at a coffee shop, meeting us at our henna boutique or meeting us at a festival,. We want them to feel comfortable.

So, I always would get feedback about that. And since making those adjustments I had had, I had already done a number of festivals prior to this one that. And the feedback was great.

And so, when she called me and she was like,"Chelsea!" And she said, you know, "Come here, I want you to see something." And she walks me down the block and she said, "Just look at your-. Just look at your booth! Just look at it!" And then she says, "And look at everyone else's."

And I looked out and I realized what she was trying to say, because when I looked at my booth, what I saw was a great sense of pride in my work. I saw investment. When she's, you know, "Just look at this! Just look at this!" What I saw was a whole lot of time, a whole lot of effort, and a whole lot of money that I had put into putting my best foot forward. And even down to the new banners that I had, which were one of her complaints, you know, "This just looks so corporate!" And  I remember telling her, "How can you say that it looks corporate? There's literally a picture of me looking at the camera," right?

So when you're viewing these banners, I'm looking you in the eye, smiling, saying, "Hey, my name's Chelsea! I'm the owner of Cardamom & Clove Henna, and I'm so excited to serve you today." Like, "These are the different ways that we can connect on social media", et cetera. Like, there's even a personal message there because, obviously, I'm not having those conversations with everyone who sees my booth. I'm doing the henna, my booth babe is having the other conversations, but like, there's even that opportunity for them to connect with me or to know who I am so they can see: the owner of this business is the artist who's doing the work, right?

And so, I remember asking her that, and she just, like, scoffed and like, rolled her eyes and whatever. And she said, "Yeah, you're no longer like the henna home girl. You're like a corporate mogul." And then, when she had me look down  the rest of the block,  I realized what she was saying.

And I say this with no shade, because again, I shared with you where I started. I share with you how I started. I share with you, even with my booth, what my booth looked like at the time when I first started doing that festival. It was not as put together as it was that year. And it took some very intentional shifts on my part to make my booth present in the way that it now did.

And so I say that-. I say this with no judgment, but there was a clear distinction between my booth and the other booth that were there on my block.

The vendor that was sitting next to me- that was, located next to me didn't have chairs. She was literally sitting on the ground to sell her items. Um, further down, like, tables undressed. Further down, there were people who were selling like some, you know, like some different garments and whatnot, and they have, like, wardrobe bags tossed everywhere. Yeah. When I looked down the way I'm like, "You're right. We do look different."

And she meant it, though, as a jab towards me. And she meant it as I had, like, I'd lost my artistic edge. I'd lost-. I no longer look like an artist and maker like everyone else on the block.

And I told her: "Everything about this, I made. Everything about this, every image that's here on my banners, that's my work. You know that. Every-. Even the layout of the banners, the way that the banners exist, I crafted those. I digitally put them together. I picked that image versus the other. I organized this. I picked-" you know, "This was all my creation and I'm proud of it."

And it hurt my heart a lot. I'm so thankful, by the way, that I'm not crying right now because every time, every time I go back to this place, I get really emotional. And today it seems to just be presenting as excitement, which I can work with. I can work with that. You guys don't wanna hear me ugly cry on this mic, but this is something that, it really got me. It really got me because it was a call out at me, and towards me, around my identity as an artist. There was this air of like, you're- like, again, like I was a sellout and yeah, it made it very clear to me that I no longer fit in. That's what she wanted me to take away. I no longer fit in.

And it was hurtful. It was incredibly hurtful. I had worked really hard to make adjustments for my business, to thoughtfully design every update that was there, and to raise the capital to fund the revamp. All of it, all of every change was a direct product of my very successful art and my very successful growing business.

And the reason I share this story with you. Is because there are a number of hard takeaways that I experienced there that I want to highlight for you. And I hope that you'll take from this some lessons for yourself or some reminders, perhaps, for yourself.

You are going to reach a place in your business where you will outgrow people, places, and spaces. And you, the faster you become comfortable with that, the faster it's going to be, and the easier it's going to be, for you to make the decisions necessary as the CEO, as the founder, as the artist behind your business, behind your brand, to do what's necessary to reach your big, audacious goal, okay? You have to be true to your goal.

For me, my goal in my henna business is not to be the most popular amongst event organizers. Sorry, but whether she feels that I'm an artist or not, doesn't pay my bills, right?

My goal is to be of service to my community with my art, using that art as my medium, and to build generational wealth for my family through a job well done. That's it.

I want to empower the women of my community. I want to empower, you know, those people who come and visit me for service. I want them to come and leave better than how they arrived. I want them to leave feeling seen and supported and heard and celebrated, and that the art that I'm creating for them leaves an impact on them not because of the art itself, but because of the exchange that takes place between them and I, right? And on the flip side, I also want to be compensated for that in a way that makes sense.

So I want to be able to use my art, to use my skill, to use my energy, and my connection to build generational wealth for my children – something that I didn't have. Something that I didn't grow up with, right? I want to be able to afford my kids opportunities that weren't afforded to me –  at no fault of my parents, right? But I have the ability to make different choices.

And so, what sense does it make for me to prioritize being her favorite vendor and having her preferred aesthetic, if her preferred aesthetic is going to cost me money in the long run, and if her preferred aesthetic doesn't tie to what my bigger goal is, even from a dollars and cents perspective?

And this is where I say: I would leave money on the table. What do I look like if, you know,  I'm set up and my booth is like, tossed together and whatnot versus the booth that comes off as very clean and crisp and professional and has their stuff in order? People will pay me more to show up with that particular presentation than they do if they have to question the legitimacy of my business, in general, when they come to me.

Can I tell you what's interesting about this? The complaint wasn't necessarily about the booth itself. The complaint was actually rooted in, if I go back to that scenario, there were other conversations that took place throughout the course of that day, through the early morning and early afternoon hours before she and I had this exchange, and what it actually came down to was not what my booth looked like. It was the fact that she wanted my booth to be placed-. My booth happened to be placed at the-. My booth was placed at the corner – at the main corner – of the entrance to our block and so I had primary location. The reason I was given that primary location is because I was one of the most senior vendors on that block that year. And so, because of that, I had priority. So I was placed at the entrance, at the mouth, if you will, of that block.

She wanted my business, my booth, to be moved to the back, to the end, of the block. The reason for that was, my booth generates the most, or generated, at that year, and in past years generated the most interest. And so, by placing my booth at the end of the block, it would benefit everyone else. The customers, the clients, would have to pass all of the other vendors in order to get to me. So it was not even a matter of my booth was ugly or my booth was too corporate or my booth was whatever.

I stood up for myself and said, "No, I'm not going to. No, I'm the senior vendor here. I'm not going to place my booth at the end of the block. My booth is going to be here at the front because I've earned that because I've been loyal to this event and I'm a continued participant to this event; and I'm not okay with being placed there; and it's not my job to drive traffic for everyone else, it's my job to drive traffic to my booth. That's why I'm here. That's why I paid my vendor fees, just like everyone else. And so everyone else is also responsible for having their businesses positioned in such a way that it attracts customer attention."

 Does that make sense? So even here from, again, from the dollars and cents perspective, I was losing money or I had- Well, I was because I actually ended up moving my booth from the back to the front where it belonged. I was losing money because of this exchange. And even if I were to look outside of just that single experience, I was losing dollars. I was losing dollars and cents here, even as it relates to my focus on what I do in my business.

My focus in my business is individual appointments and private events, not festival work. My goals are not centered around fitting into the starving artists mold that was hoped to be presented in this festival setting. Not a thing I was willing to do, right?

So this person wanted me-. She wanted for me to play small and she was willing to offend me and she was willing to be unjust towards me even in, like, the placement, right? The placement of my booth so that I would fit better into this narrative that she had or this desire that she had. In doing so, me agreeing to that would have been a betrayal to my own growth, and it would have been a betrayal to my own goals, okay?

That, incident, we'll call it, happened in 2019. So obviously, 2020, that festival didn't run. This year, 2021, that festival is also not scheduled. We anticipate that it will come back in 2022.

I have every intention of participating in that festival again in 2022 and also, I have zero intention of changing anything about my processes in order to do so, because I am responsible to my goals and I'm not willing to allow someone else's wants, or someone else's ideas, or someone else's perspectives, or someone else's-. No. None of that. That cannot be placed as a priority over the goals that I have for myself and my business.

And I am acutely aware that I won't be located on her block. I won't be located on that block again. And it's not, you know, it's no love lost. It's not from a place of upset. It's not from a place of anger. It's not from a place of any of that, but we're just no longer aligned. And that was made very clear and I cannot, and I will not – and this is where I hope that you hear me, because perhaps you'll identify a time and space where this is happening to you in your business right now, too –  I'm not willing to compromise on my goals, and the actions that I need to take in order to meet those goals, in order to make someone else comfortable, okay?

So I want to-. I share that story with you, and I want to open up the floor. Inside of the Hennapreneur Community, we're gonna be talking about this, but I would love to know: are you right now honoring your goals or are you playing small to fit the mold that someone else has crafted for you?

That's what I would like to know. If you find yourself in that place where you're like: no, like I really am –  I'm playing small or I'm allowing someone else to dictate my next steps or I'm allowing someone else to tell me how and where and why and what it should look like when I show up– and I don't just mean at festivals, friends. I'm talking about how you do life, okay?

If that's you, can we dig into that a little? I'd love to leave you with that challenge. Are you honoring your goals right now, or are you playing small to fit the molds that someone else has crafted for you? And friends, if so, at what expense? At what expense are you doing that?

All right! I'm going to jump off of here and I will talk to you all later. Bye for now!

Hey, friend! I just want to give you a quick, thank you for tuning into this episode of the Hennapreneur Podcast and I hope that you're really enjoying connecting with me in this way. You can find links to all of the content shared today in the show notes, located at Hennapreneur.com/podcast.

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