ep. 042 • my shoe story pt. I of II

Chelsea: For me, it's the shoes. Like I said, I remember when I'd just started my business, I was in a time in my life where I would literally put back $30 t-shirts because with that I could buy two brand new pairs of shoes for my son; or if I got his shoes on clearance, like, that could be three, maybe even four pairs of shoes. I wasn't going to spend that on a shirt for myself, to going into this designer fashion house and saying, "Ooh, I like these shoes. I'm going to buy them. Yeah, I'm not even looking at the price tag. Yeah, please just go ahead and ring me up." That is a very different experience. And what happened in between, right? What had to happen in between was that coming to awareness of my own desire, of my own want, and more importantly, my own worthiness.

Welcome to the Hennapreneur podcast – the exclusive podcast of its kind dedicated to giving you an honest look at the realities of making a living as a henna professional.

I'm your host, Chelsea Stevenson, a tea-loving, shoe-collecting mother of three in constant search for the most popping pair of earrings and the perfect shade of red lipstick.

I'm also a professional henna artist and business strategist who went from barely being able to piece together a fluid design to being the owner of the most celebrated henna boutique in my city.

I'm on a mission to help henna professionals, to harness their skills and grow vibrant, profitable businesses that they absolutely love.

If you want to make more money with your art, you are definitely in the right place. Let's get to it!

Hey, hennapreneurs! Welcome to another episode of the Hennapreneur podcast. Today, I want to talk to you about my Cinderella story. I don't know why I'm singing. Why is that happening? I don't know, but we're just gonna rock with it, okay?

So, yeah, I want to talk to you all about my shoe story, because this is something that if you've been around Hennapreneur for a while, you likely have noticed that oftentimes I will make reference to my red bottoms or I'll even sometimes will say, " Ooh, this status is red bottom approved," or, "This thing is red bottom approved." And this is something that I use in my language just inside of like, my own business to the point that even when I receive new bookings, I have an automated system that sends me a text message that tells me: you've got a new booking. This was the dollar amount of that booking. And then, like, the signature on that text message says, "this message is red bottom approved."

And so, the theme of these red bottoms often comes up, but I realized as the community has grown, that unless you've been around me for a while, or unless you've had closer proximity to me, you may not be familiar with what all that's about and it might almost even feel like a little bit of a disconnect, so I actually wanted to share a little bit of my personal story around that and what that all means to me on a personal level and what it means in terms of the growth and the expansion of my business. There's some lessons that definitely come alongside of this, but it's definitely given through the lens of my own personal journey, so this actually is the first of a two-part series, if you will – two separate episodes where I'll be getting into my shoe story. So, hopefully this is something that, that you enjoy. And yeah, let's start from the top.

So for me, this whole story, this whole shoe story, right? It actually started well before I actually even realized it. When this all sort of began to come together for me was actually back in 2016. So in 2016 – early 2016 – I was working as a mobile henna artist. So, at the time, I had just moved back to Baltimore from Texas and I, at that point in time, was servicing clients out of a number of coffee shops who would host me each week. So there were a couple different locations that I would bounce around from, but I had one that I spent most of my time at and I would just, you know, my clients would book, I would meet them there. I would render the services there and I'd be there for a couple of hours every evening and then I'd go back home.

And this shoe story happened, or started, if you will, in this the space inside of my business. So I remember this time, right? If you'll get with me in my time machine – as we do – I remember this time I'd met what was, for me, she was a first-time client and she booked in for a coffee house session with me. It was a $60 session. I remember walking in and when I arrived at the coffee shop, she was there early. And I knew exactly who she was when I saw her. Like, I remember thinking to myself, this woman is absolutely fabulous. Her style? Fabulous. The confidence with which she carried herself? Fabulous. Her hair? Fabulous. Her energy was just so rich, both in depth and in wealth signaling.

So, as we started working together and I'm creating these designs for her, chatting with her about who she is and what she does and all these things, she shared with me that she's a boutique bridal stylist. She worked with some of the world's top couture fashion houses. And I remember as she was telling me about her work and her travels and what she does, and her life experiences, I remember noticing how she sat; she sat with her knees leaned over to the side and her ankles were crossed down beneath the table. I remember noticing the soles of her shoes, at that point, as the bottom of her shoes were kind of peeking out as her ankles were crossed. And I remember when I saw her shoes, I absolutely loved them. I thought that they were the most beautiful shoes I had ever seen. And when I saw this flash of red on her, I was like, oh! That gives me something that I can look for. Like, I can search for that. I did not ask her anything about her shoes. Like, that would have been too much for me. Like, that would have been a little much for me. But I remember noticing. She had these flats and they were pointed toe and they had these gold studs on them and like, I just loved them so, so much.

And so, after finishing up her appointment, I remember going back to the car and in the car, I Googled "red bottom studded flats", and I found the pair of shoes that she was wearing online. I found them on Christian Louboutin's website and they came with an $800 price tag.

I quickly made a mental note that, well, first of all, the shoes on her feet were worth more than all of the clothing I had on my body and all of the belongings that I was carrying with me at the time and I immediately felt embarrassed for sitting with her, like, being with her and serving her and like, all of a sudden, in my mind, all of these things started to come up about the differences between she and I and then I also felt embarrassed by my desire to own a pair of those shoes, too. There's a little bit of even deeper story behind that story and that's that shoes, specifically, have actually always been a unit of measure for me.

So, early on in my career, and because I started my business in 2011 – at the time my son was just about two – and so that would have been early in my parenting journey as well, which you know, if you're not familiar with, like, I started when I was a single parent, so it was just myself and my son, but I was in the habit of qualifying purchases by how many pairs of shoes for my son that item would equate to.

So whenever I would make a purchase, whether that was a household purchase or a car repair, a new piece of clothing, whatever, I would always ask myself how many pairs of shoes could I buy Alex with this? And then, depending on the answer, I'd either make the purchase or put the item back. And more often than not, I was returning things to the shelf and looking for cheaper alternatives. Like, especially when the item was for me... yeah. I would say eight times out of 10, I was returning the item and trying to find something cheaper instead.

And so that was the thing, right? Like, here I am, I'm sitting in my car looking at this pair of $800 shoes as if someone like me could own them and there was this very real, visceral physical reaction that I had in that moment. I felt very out of place, very uncomfortable in my body. There was this disconnect between I want this and this is not possible for me. People like me don't do this. People like me don't buy these things.

For context, my family of four – at that point in time, it was myself, my husband, my son, and then also our daughter who was very young. This would have been- she would have been around two herself, at this point in time – we'd just moved across country. So all of my belongings were in storage. We were living in a bedroom, the four of us in a bedroom in my in-laws' home, meaning that I wasn't even, like, eating off of my own dishes at night. Like, who was I to want these shoes? I didn't even have, like, my own anything at that point in time. My life that was mine was in, like, a 10 by 10 box, and so it seemed absolutely ludicrous for me to be even looking at these shoes online.

And yet, there had been this person, right? There had been this person who was someone like me and she did have the shoes. Like, what was it about her that made her different from me? Like, she was like me, you know? There was this black woman who was brilliant and ambitious and stylish, and she's wearing these fabulous flats and why was I so different?

And so I decided that I would one day own a pair of my own, too.

It wasn't actually until last year – it was in July of 2020 – that I brought that want and that vision to fruition. After nearly six months of COVID closure, I had quietly reopened my henna boutique and I was absolutely inundated with new bookings. I leaned in. I really pushed myself and after reaching a particular big revenue goal for myself, I cleared my first five-figure month. I decided that I was going to buy my first pair of boots, right? And so the experience, first of all, the experience was way more involved than I anticipated.

So like, even to start. I remember just- and this is just so you can have some context, some idea, because this was so unfamiliar to me, right? I didn't know what size to buy. Like, I went to the websitesand I was like, okay, I'm going to go see if I can find some of these shoes. And I go on the website and I have no idea what size to buy, because the shoes are all, like, Italian sizes. Like European sized. And so–. And! And Christian Louboutin's shoe sizing actually is specific to the cut of each shoe, also. So it's like, there's this general sizing that you can follow with the European sizing and then, also, depending on the cut of the shoe, they give a suggestion or recommendation like 'you may want to size up half size' or 'you may want to size down a size,' or whatever, depending on how the cut of that particular shoe is.

And so, while I ordered my first pair online, I actually ended up having to make the drive to Philadelphia, which was the location of the closest Christian Louboutin boutique to me in order to exchange them because I'd gotten the sizing wrong. And even there, like, that was that much more of an interesting experience. Like, shopping in one of their boutiques was very different from any other shopping that I had done.

When you arrive, first of all, it's limited capacity how many people can be inside of the store at one point in time. There's a sales person and attendant who tends to you throughout your shopping session and when you purchase your items, it's documented on a client account. And if you ha–. If you're someone like me who has a less frequently carried size, then your shoes are delivered to you at your home directly by courrier. Like, this is not the same type of shopping experience that I'd ever had.

Also, by the way, you can't just buy Louboutin. Like, that's not a thing. There's a contract that you sign prior to purchase acknowledging the terms of that purchase and everything else. Like, it is a whole different experience, especially if you're like me and your happy place has historically been shopping the clearance rack at Target. Like, this was a lot.

And so, when I made my first purchase, which was the equivalent of my mortgage, on a pair of shoes, I nearly threw up in my mouth. Like, as I was giving my bank information to the attendant over the phone I was like, yeah, a ball of nerves, stomach flipped, ready to throw up. It was a lot. And it was more than the money. More than the money. It was a matter of like, there was this very deep feeling of 'who do you think you are?' Like, 'people like me don't buy things like this. People like me can't afford this'.

And then when the shoes arrived, I loved them. I was so excited about them. I remember going live on Facebook, doing the unboxing, and like, telling the story about how I'd gotten these shoes and what this meant. And, you know, I shared this with my friends, with my close community and even still, I actually waited three months before I ever put them on to wear them.

There was a lot that–. There was a lot of inner work that had to happen there because there was this stark, vast disconnect between having them and thinking that I was worthy of having them, you understand?

And so, fast forward a little bit, last weekend I was in Boston. You may know. You may not know. So, there was an offer that I had made for a Hennapreneur business owner to come in and spend two days with me in Boston where we would deep dive their business. And so I was in Boston last weekend to deliver on this VIP business strategy and consulting experience. And I did that in collaboration with one of my own business besties.

In the airport on the way to Boston, I was like, huh, I wonder if there is a Christian Louboutin boutique in the city. And so I did a quick Google and I found that, oh my gosh, like, there's one there. And so she and I decided to make a trip to check it out.

Now, once again, like, right now, I'm in a season of celebration just like last year when I bought my first pair. This year's a little bit different. This time I was celebrating some new things. So like, earlier this year I celebrated having cleared my first six figures at the henna boutique. More recently, actually just this week, I accepted an offer to serve as a guest expert and business strategist in a high-end program that just kicked off. And while I was on that trip, I also received a notification that I'd been accepted as a participant to a program – a business program that's for my own growth. And so I really, really wanted to celebrate making that investment, as well.

So when we visited the Christian Louboutin boutique, I found a couple of pairs that I absolutely loved and this time, the feeling, you know, that experience didn't feel so out of reach for me. Like, this time, my stomach didn't do the same flips. Like, my inner critic, which normally, it just absolutely loses it in situations like these, you know, instead my inner critic didn't scream retorts about how I didn't deserve it. I picked the pair that I liked. I tried it on and without looking at the price tag, I told the attendant helping me, like, "Yeah, I'll take them," and that's because people like us, right? People who show up every day, people who do the work, people who are dedicated to securing the bag and who believe, people who believe in our abilities, we are deserving of all of the fruits of our labor. And, for me, that includes indulging in a fresh pair of red bottoms when I desire to do so, right?

And so, I recognize that this indulgence not only serves as a treat, but also as an investment in me. It inspires me. It excites me and, really, it feels good. It feels good. The ROI on it, the return on this investment, is the tangible reminder of my own capacity and my worthiness; but actually, we'll talk a little bit about that more in next week's episode, okay?

But for now, I want to know something from you, okay? And then we'll kind wrap this up next week. I'd love to know what your shoe story is. Like, what's something that shows up in your life that might seem frivolous, or maybe it just seems ordinary to others, but holds deep significance for you. For me, it's the shoes. Like I said, I remember when I'd just started my business, I was at a time in my life where I would, like, I would literally put back $30 t-shirts because with that I could buy two brand new pairs of shoes for my son; or if I got his shoes on clearance, like, that could be three, maybe even four pairs of shoes. I wasn't going to spend that on a shirt for myself, to going into this designer fashion house and saying, "Ooh, I like these shoes. I'm going to buy them. Yeah, like, I'm not even looking at the price tag. Yeah, please just go ahead and ring me up." That is a very different experience. And what happened in between, right? What had to happen in between was that coming to awareness of my own desire, of my own want, and more importantly, my own worthiness.

I look at putting those shirts back the $30 t-shirt, you know, $30 blouse, putting it back because I wasn't– I didn't feel worthy of that sort of thing to, you know, the experiences that I'm having now and it is very, very different, but there were things that had to shift. There were pieces of my identity that had to change. Or I shouldn't even say change. There was recognition that had to happen in order for me to go from that first place into the second.

And so, I'm interested to know for you what that thing is. What's that shoe story? Where's your come-up story, right? What's that one thing, right? What's that one thing that shows up for you that may seem like, mmm, there's some history there. There's some meaning there. There's some significance there. And perhaps you've pulled the trigger on it already, or perhaps you haven't and whether that's the case or not, it doesn't matter, I'm just interested to know what that is for you. So I want to invite you to come and talk to me about that over in the Hennapreneur.com/community this week.

And then, next week, I will give you the rest of the tea on the shoe story and I want to spend a little bit of time kind of digging into what this all means and what this meant for me, but also what this could mean for you as you are looking to grow and expand in your own lived experiences as well.

So I will wrap up here and I want to invite you over to the Hennapreneur.com/community where we having this conversation and yeah, I'll talk to you all next time. Bye! Bye for now.

Hey friend. I just want to give you a quick thank you for tuning into this episode of the Hennapreneur podcast. And I hope that you're really enjoying connecting with me in this way. You can find links to all of the content shared today in the show notes located at Hennapreneur.com/podcast.

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